David DeAngelo - Mailbag - Dating Tips2 How To Flirt

I want to talk about the concept of "flirting", and why

it's SO important that you understand exactly what it is and

how to do it with women.

   To begin with, women know what flirting is, and they

respond VERY differently to flirting communication than they

do to typical social communication.

   If you understand flirting and sexual tension, you can

begin conversations with women and have them INSTANTLY

feeling ATTRACTION for you.

   If you DON'T understand how flirting and sexual tension

work, then you're either going to have to become famous or

make a LOT of money to be successful with women.

   I'm going to suggest that you learn how to flirt well,

then do it RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING in your interactions with

women to SET THE RIGHT TONE.

   Think of flirting like playing.

   Remember when you were a kid and you used to "play fight"

with your friends?

   What's the difference between "play" wrestling and "real"

wrestling?

   And how do you know the difference when it's happening...

when your friend runs up and pushes you down, then jumps on

you and tries to pin you?

   The answer is YOU JUST KNOW. It's obvious to humans (and

other animals, by the way) when someone is "playing" and when

they're serious.

   Flirting is similar.

   If you start talking to a woman and say "Hi, you're very

pretty. You probably have a boyfriend, right?" in a normal

tone of voice, you're NOT flirting.

   On the other hand, if you say "Hi, I realize that you're

probably shy because you get no attention from men... so I

thought I'd come over here and pay attention to you..." it's

OBVIOUS that you're not being serious. This is flirting.

   By the way, flirting IS NOT simply telling jokes, or

trying to be "cute".

   One of the concepts that I teach is called "Cocky & Funny."

   Cocky & Funny is simply a powerful, concentrated way of

flirting and creating sexual tension with a specific kind of

humor.

   It's so funny to me how some guys write in because they

"can't see themselves being Cocky & Funny around women"

because they don't want to come across as jerks.

   This really cracks me up... because it's obvious to me

that these guys JUST DON'T GET IT.

   So let me explain this whole thing a different way...

   If you know how to communicate the right way, women will

respond to you RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING with a HIGH LEVEL

of sexual interest and ATTRACTION.

   When you know how to incorporate flirting in a Cocky &

Funny way, which is really a form of "adult verbal play",

you tune in to a certain frequency in a woman's mind, and

cause her to go into a very special kind of emotional state.

   One of the keys to effective flirting is to "get it". In

other words, you have to actually get out there and practice

so you get a "feel" for how it works.

   I think a lot of guys give up when they try a cute line

or technique and a woman responds by saying "You're a loser."

Instead of just realizing that they need more practice or

that the woman might have just been in a bad mood or even

one of those horrible "I don't have a sense of humor" cases,

they take it personally and decide to just have it mean that

they're a failure.

   But take my word for it... once you learn how to flirt

effectively and communicate in the language of "adult play"

you WILL SIMPLY NOT BELIEVE how women will respond to you.

   Here's an example of some of one of my favorite topics to

"riff on" when flirting... the topic of getting married and

us being in a relationship... and I'll give it to you in the

form of a sample dialogue. Keep in mind, I might have a

conversation like this one with a woman that I just met five

minutes earlier...

Her: "I have a good job, and I make good money"

Me: "Nice. I like that in a woman. Want to get married? We

could leave for Vegas right now and be married in about 4

or 5 hours. I need a woman with money."

Her: <Laughter> "OK, that sounds like a plan"

Me: "But wait a minute... do you think you can support the

both of us on your income? I really want to be a stay at

home husband... you know, keep an eye on the TV and such."

Her: "Oh, no... I won't support you."

Me: "Well, then I'm breaking up with you. It's over between

us. I was going to marry you, then divorce you a week later

and take half your money."

Her: <Laughter> "You can't break up with me! I'm not even

your girlfriend."

Me: "That's all the more reason."

   ...do you get what's going on here?

   I'm taking a normal conversation topic (her job and income)

and redirecting the conversation in a flirtatious, Cocky &

Funny way to create a fun mood and sexual tension (by

suggesting marriage, divorce, and breaking up over her not

supporting me, etc.).

   If the above example doesn't make any sense to you, then

take that as a sign that you need to get out and practice

more. Try it on a waitress or two.

   When you ask for something and she says "I'm sorry, we

don't have that", just say "OK, this relationship isn't

working out... I'm going to have to break up with you."

   In fact, you can say this in just about ANY situation

with ANY woman where she's saying something that you don't

like, and it's funny.

   When you communicate like this, you're FLIRTING, you're

TEASING, and you're initiating a DIFFERENT KIND OF

COMMUNICATION than most men initiate.

   And as soon as the woman you're talking to "engages" you

in this kind of dialogue, THE GAME IS ON.

   There are a LOT of ways you can flirt, and a lot of ways

you can be Cocky & Funny that DON'T REQUIRE WORDS.

   If a woman looks at you and raises one eyebrow, look back

at her and do the same... only exaggerate it.

   If a woman puts her hand on your arm, look down at it,

then look up at her in a surprised way, then raise your

eyebrows as if you just had a major "ah ha!" realization...

then start smiling and nodding your head as if you just

realized that she wants you. This is a powerful combination

because it's funny, and it exaggerates the meaning in her

touching you.

   There are a MILLION ways to flirt like this, but the point

that I'm trying to make is that you NEED TO START DOING IT

RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING OF YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH WOMEN.

   It will set off all of your conversations with women on

the right foot, and start a dialogue that creates sexual

tension and ATTRACTION.

   If you DON'T learn how to communicate with women like this

you'll have BORING, "NORMAL" conversations that NEVER lead

to sexual tension and ATTRACTION.

   Remember, women can tell INSTANTLY whether you're flirting

with them or not. If you are, and you're doing it in a subtle,

charming way, you'll get amazing responses.

   One of the keys to flirting and creating ATTRACTION

effectively is projecting confidence and indifference both

in your voice tone and body language as you do it.

   And in order to project these things you need to have the

right understanding and BELIEFS about how male/female

ATTRACTION works... and then be able to project them through

your conversation to women.

   In my new CD audio series, I explain the most important

beliefs to project, and exactly how to project them so the

woman you're talking to senses INSTANTLY and at an

UNCONSCIOUS level that you know how to communicate on many

levels with her... all through body language, voice tone,

and words.