The Power of Playful Touching
Recently I had a "double date" with a buddy of mine, and our dates were two women we had both met at a club the prior weekend. My girl and I were very much into each other, but as the night progressed I noticed that my friend’s date was not so much into him.
When I looked a little closer, searching for clues as to what he could do to remedy the situation, I noticed that there was a psychological distance between the two of them. They didn’t have rapport and their interaction was characterized by awkwardness.
After a while I realized that my buddy could make her feel much more comfortable by relaxing, lightening up, and implementing some casual touch.
I wasn’t going to tell him what to do right there on the date, so I waited for the ladies to go to the bathroom. Then I told him to touch his date on the arm when they she was laughing and especially when he playfully teased her. I knew that if he just did these few things, that they would naturally get much more intimate.
My friend was really thankful, because he was so caught up in how cute this girl was that he wasn’t thinking straight.
Once the ladies returned from the bathroom I immediately noticed the shift in my friend’s behavior. He relaxed, laid back, and proceeded to playfully crack lame jokes and tease her.
At first, I got the feeling that she felt a little weirded out, because he hadn’t laid a finger on her all night. But he didn’t acknowledge her confusion and went right ahead with what he was doing as it were the most normal thing to do.
I noticed that slowly she was becoming used to his touch. And when he began to playfully tease her, he touched her some more, getting her even more comfortable.
On one occasion, we were in a conversation about having monogamy versus polygamy. Suddenly, my friend’s girl asked him, "So do you think polygamy is correct?" This was her way of testing him to see who was in control.
So he replied, "Oh yes, in fact I was raised a polygamist. I live with 4 women and they all LOVE ME SO MUCH!"
She laughed, and playfully hit him on the arm, saying, "Stop it! Tell me!"
So he continued with, "Yea, in fact, I don’t think you and I can go any further with this relationship without them interviewing you. The house has to live in harmony, you know."
She said, "You are SO mean!" At which time, he just reached over and hugged her, saying "AWWWWWH" and then continued the fun by throwing the question to me.
In essence he made her emotions buzz with his statements, and then used her defeat as an excuse to hug her.
I had rented at the beach that weekend, so we had a place to hang out at after dinner. The following day, my friend was calling me a genius ;)
Derek Vitalio