“Should Guys Buy Women Drinks?”
David DeAngelo Gives You The Answer To The Ageless Question: Is Buying Drinks for Women a Good Thing or Not?
By David DeAngelo
We've all been there… you're out with a woman, buying drinks, buying food… and nothing to show for it at the end of the night. Stop wasting your time and money - and find out EXACTLY how to handle these situations - as David D. answers this reader's question:
***Question***
I met this fairly hot chick (7.5) at the bar a couple weeks back. At first I was out of it, didn't know what to say (was a long day), and when my buddy was working her friend I just wandered off after just saying hi. I got my beer, wandered back after taking a time out to come up with a few lines and that's when things got interesting. I could tell that she was sorta confused that I just said hi and walked off and didn't just stay there while my buddy worked. Awesome. So I come back, busted on her a bunch, then wandered off … again. Things move on, I go talk to my other buddies who are with us, see her on the dance floor (buddy still in tow with “The Friend”), and now I'm getting warmed up with the C&F. I see this dude with the ugliest sweater ever created, point it out to her, and I asked her if she thought he had skinned his couch to make that thing. She loved it…
[Later] had she not played the “we're drunk, lets not have sex” card I would have surely closed the deal… on our first time out after the bar meeting.
Dave, your teachings are truly amazing. I do have one question for you. I KNOW you're not supposed to buy everything because it's wussy (and expensive), but what do you do when you're out, you get round one because you lost a bet to this chick, and when round two comes she just sits there expecting you to buy?
JMS Detroit
>>>My Comments:
Well, I'd first like to comment on your story of how you met this particular girl.
If she feels a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you, then nothing else matters.
You've really provided a great example of how to be very DIFFERENT than most guys, and how to integrate a lot of my ideas together and successfully apply them.
The idea of walking up to a woman, saying “hi,” and then WALKING AWAY is great (only if you're reasonably sure that you're going to see her again… like in a typical bar scenario).
What do MOST guys do?
They start talking to a woman, KEEP talking to her, try to get a “normal” conversation going, try to buy her a drink, etc.
In your case, you TEASED her mind by doing something unexpected… you said hi, then walked away.
This leaves her to wonder things like:
“Why did he leave?”
“Maybe he thought I was attractive, but then when I opened my mouth he didn't like my personality.”
“Why didn't he offer to buy me a drink or come on to me like the other guys here?”
…etc. etc. etc.
It shows that you have self control, that you have things to do, that you could take her or leave her.
About paying for drinks and dates…
The reality of the situation is that most women EXPECT a man to pay for a date.
I've had this conversation with MANY, MANY women, and when I challenge them and explain that it sets up an imbalance when a man starts paying for things in the beginning, most women start saying things like:
- “I don't like cheap men.”
- “A gentleman will always pay for a lady.”
- “I don't want a guy who can't afford to take me out.”
In my humble, personal opinion, the best way to avoid having to pay for a woman's dinner is to NOT TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I know that it seems obvious, and you've heard me say this in 100 different ways, but you REALLY CAN avoid paying for things by just avoiding the SITUATIONS.
If she feels a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you, then nothing else matters.
Look around.
There are beautiful, intelligent, successful women that you probably know RIGHT NOW who are with guys who mistreat them… guys who the women even have to support entirely in many cases…
WHY?
Well, it all started with ATTRACTION.
And that's what you should focus on… CREATING ATTRACTION… not wasting money on fancy dates and food and drinks.