7 Tinder Success Tips From a Seasoned Pro
I’ve been on quite a few Tinder dates. A lot actually. I can now honestly say that, if logistical circumstances permit, I can sleep with the girl within three dates. As a caveat I’d like to add that I don’t see the girls after the first date if I don’t connect with them. My view on the whole ‘getting good with women’ thing is that you don’t need to put up with women you don’t actually like, just see other girls. That being said, Tinder is an excellent way to get in your ’10,000 hours’ with women. It’s all about the repetitions. I had sex with at least half a dozen severely unattractive girls before I had sex with my first model. There is a big fat caveat to all the ‘do not’s’ below; if you are not currently able to get women in bed, you will not have success with Tinder. Tinder is merely a tool to increase your exposure to women, and only women who find you attractive at that. Many of the people who knock Tinder think it’s either a scam or some kind of magic tool, like fat burners or ab belts. It is neither. It is a tool that will get you where you want to get faster, kind of like steroids; they will help but you still got to do the work. So without further ado here are the screw ups by the guys that have failed with the girls with whom I have succeeded.
1. Pretending to be someone you’re not Sure you can land a date by using photos that don’t portray what you really look like, but you have to ask yourself; is your goal to meet the girl once or do you want some sort of carnal outcome? I’m guessing the latter. If you’re dishonest about ANYTHING leading up to the meet up you are essentially erasing any chance of getting laid, kissed or high-fived. The #1 easiest way to get better with women is to start actually being the guy you’re trying to be when you’re trying to get laid.
2. You’re not maximising your looks Yes, Tinder is superficial and if you’re not good looking you will most likely not get lays with good looking women. But guess what; you’re a guy. Your looks are not based on your genetics. Fix what you can and love what you can’t. Are you pudgy? Get in shape. Is your fashion sense terrible? Fix it. You can go from a ‘4’ to a ‘7’ considerably easily and if you’re not doing that, you do not deserve to have success with women. Easy as that. Get your shit together. If you’re a ‘7’ as a guy you can get ’10’s’ if you have your personality and lifestyle in check. You cannot do that as a ‘4’.
3. Abandon ‘crutch topics’ I never talk about the weather. I spend minimal amount talking about jobs. I hate talking about generic stuff in general. You want to prove as quickly as possible that you’re not like the other automatons out there, and you’re not afraid of ruffling feathers to stand out from the crowd. Guys do this a lot; they will think they will get anywhere just by talking about anything with the person they’re after. Being an attractive guy I’ve had loads of gay guys come on to me, which I don’t mind, I see it as a compliment, but it’s the worst when dudes ask you generic questions that you’re fed up with answering. The other day I was sitting in one of Sydney’s parks and eating my lunch and this super closeted dude comes over, touches me on the shoulder when I’m not wearing any shirt and starts asking the usual guy questions; – Where are you from? – How old are you? – What do you do? *vomits* No wonder hot girls are rude. Imagine having to put up with shit like that on a daily basis and by people who could kill you with their bare hands? Hot girls are angels for even listening to your generic crap.You will establish absolutely ZERO attraction with questions like that if you do not have an interesting follow up to them. Most guys just ask the questions and go ‘Okay’ or even worse; Oh that’s cool. No it’s not fucking cool, it just is. Be interesting. Separate yourself from the crowed. Maybe even ruffle some feathers.
4. Invest minimally Don’t go out to eat at a restaurant before you’ve been on several dates with a girl. Same goes for the movies, events costing money and social gatherings. Why? Because for all you know she might be a complete tosser, in which case you do not want to invest time or money in this person. As stated earlier if you want success with girls you need repetitions and guess what; if you need to spend $100 on food and drinks every time you’re seeing a girl, chances are you’re going to run out of money before you get any results. Plus, you’ll look like a tool trying to buy her approval. Two Tinder dates ago I had a girl tell me about how most of the dates she’d been on made her uncomfortable because the guy wanted to take her to events or happenings, and she simply did not feel comfortable investing so much energy meeting up with a person who could be Jack the Ripper reincarnate for all she knew. Write this down on the back of your eyelids:
5. Keep dates simple Think grocery shopping, strolling or clothes shopping. Another great thing about these activities is that you will never run out of possible topics to talk about. The environment is constantly changing and you’re literally bombarded with cues for conversational topics. Good luck with that at a fancy restaurant.
6. Don’t ask stupid questions like ‘What are you looking for in a man?’ or ‘Why are you on Tinder?’ These kinds of questions make me dry heave. You’re not on the cast of Sex & the City. Act like it’s a totally normal thing – because it is. Besides, most girls will ask you questions like ‘How many Tinder dates have you been on?’ and you will tell her the truth. If it’s many you say ‘many’, if it’s less than five you say ‘less than five’. You won’t win anything by lying. I’ve found that if I am honest and tell them that I’ve been on loads and that I’ve slept with quite a few girls I’ve met on Tinder, there’s no hate. Obviously I’m not being braggy about it or anything, I just tell it as it is and try to change the topic is it’s not going anywhere I want it to go. If they show slight contempt I tell them my theory; 20% of the guys are banging 80% of the girls – Pareto’s Principle is alive and well in the dating game – and I’m among that 20%. I own it. And you should too. Don’t be ashamed by anything you’re not willing to change.
7. Spending too much time texting Texting is for building quick attraction and setting up the meeting. Simply avoid asking or answering too many questions or you’ll run out of topics to talk about when you eventually do meet up. Furthermore, it can get kind of awkward if you meet up and you know too much about each other. This can back fire hugely for you. Women have way livelier imaginations than dudes do and they will start imagining you as this Christian Bale/Elon Musk hybrid and she will be sorely disappointed when she finally meets the real you. There’s no hard and fast rule for how much texting you should be doing, so don’t think about it too much, but just keep it in the back of your head that it’s not necessarily a good thing to establish too much of a connection texting. Bonus round! *Jingle* A few must do’s. Have her add you on Facebook If you’re reading this site and applying what you learn, that should come across from your Facebook profile. There should be pictures portraying who you are. She’s going to stalk you so make sure that she will like what she sees.
What’s more important is that this makes you more ‘real’. You might have a few mutual friends there, she can see photos of you doing stuff, she can see your friends posting stuff on your wall. Safety is a huge concern for women and it’s something you should have in the back of your mind. I’ve noticed a difference by using Tinder in my hometown of Copenhagen, Denmark where I have a huge social network and usually at least three mutual friends with any attractive girl I connect with on Tinder, and where I live now, Sydney, Australia, where I didn’t really have any social network and therefore no mutual Facebook friends with the girl; it’s harder to establish a meet up with no mutual friends. It’s social proof at play.
The above is another reason why you should have her see your Facebook profile so you establish yourself as ‘safe’. Have an escape plan Especially if you’re starting out and getting in your practice you might meet up with a few nut jobs. In that case make sure you have somewhere you have to be an hour or two after the meet up. You don’t want to be stuck without an escape plan and you don’t want to spend an entire afternoon on a girl you don’t like after all.
Conclusion I hope you got something out of this article. It’s amazing how shitty a lot of dudes are with women. I promise if you apply the principles outlined you will improve not only your Tinder game, but your dating game in general.
by Nicklas Kingo